Back to School
Two weeks ago Colin went back to school, Ryan started school, and I returned to work.
It was a rough start because I was very out of practice in preparing for the day, the routine has expanded now that I need to get things ready for Colin, Ryan and myself, and I was dealing with the general heartbreak of my boys spending their days with someone else again. So between preparing Colin's breakfast and lunch, my breakfast and lunch, and Ryan's bottles I was up until about 1:00AM. Then I had to get ready for bed, nurse the baby, and before I knew what happened it was 2AM before I got to sleep. And of course Ryan, who had been sleeping a solid 6 hours every night (midnight - 6AM) decided he was starving at 4AM, so I was up for a half hour, then had to get up at 5:30. So I started back going on about 2½ hours of sleep. OUCH!
Tuesday morning arrived and H came to school with me as we dropped the boys off, which was incredibly helpful. Emotionally I needed him there for support (the first day is tough) and physically I needed him to help lug the 37 bags of crap that I had to bring in.
We first went into the infant room and dropped Ryan off, then went down to get Colin settled. We sat with the big guy as he ate most of his breakfast, then left him in the arms of his favorite teacher (Miss Lynn). Then back down to say one last goodbye to Ryan.
I had made three bottles for Ryan - one biggie for breakfast, a second smaller one (for second breakfast!), and one for the afternoon. And I was coming at lunch to feed him, so I thought I had a great plan all set up. I called the school around 9:00 just to see how Ryan was doing, expecting to be reassured that everything was fine. It wasn't. He adamantly refused the bottle. They kept trying for an hour, but he wouldn't eat, and I could hear him crying in the background.
I was terribly upset, so I called H. First he suggested that I drive over to the school and nurse Ryan myself so he didn't go hungry. Unfortunately because of my meeting schedule this wasn't possible, I had to just agonize and hope for the best. Later H sent me a text with a kernel of wisdom... "I was thinking about it. Kids are great at two things... adapting and manipulating. If you run over and feed him he will continue to refuse the bottle so he can see you (manipulation). If he figures out that he needs to take the bottle to feel better obviously he adapts. So let's try for adaptation." This felt a little harsh since we are talking about a 12-week old infant, but in some ways is incredibly wise. And sure enough, when they tried the second bottle he finally took it.
Lunch was a relief, though. I went in and picked Ryan up, and he immediately snuggled into my neck. A soft, warm bundle of baby boy. I inhaled his scent, reveling in the luxury of having him back in my arms. After I fed him he was drowsy, and I gave him to Miss Jill and then went down to check on Colin. He was sound asleep (nap time) but his teacher told me he was having a great day so nothing to worry about there.
The afternoon was smooth for Ryan as he took his bottle relatively well, however Mother Nature threw us for a loop: there was an earthquake!!! No damage anywhere, but it shook the whole state which was a little bizarre. After work I zoomed over to get my boys, we headed home, and I have to admit Ryan seemed extra snuggly. This might have been all in my head, or perhaps wishful thinking, but it sure seemed like it.
Day 2 came along, and I was confident that it would be better. I was better prepared, got a little more sleep, and darn it this was going to work! As we were getting ready that morning Ryan was being an angel, happily laying in his bassinet looking up at his cow toy, and watching the fan. But Colin about wrecked me when I went to get him dressed.
C: No, Mommy. No! Don't wanna go to school!
Me: But I have to go to work, Colin. And you and Baby Ryan can't stay home alone.
C: Don't go to work, Mommy. Don't go to work! STAY HOME!!
I nearly broke down sobbing, right along with Colin, but somehow we got through that morning and the rest of the week. Then over the weekend Mother Nature struck again. We had to prepare for - no, I'm not kidding - a hurricane. Irene was headed our way, and the eye of the storm was targeted to go right over central NJ, Edison in fact. H did our usual grocery shopping on Thursday night amid chaotic crowds, we made sure all the electronics were charged and everything outside (chairs, planters, etc.) was in the garage, and when Saturday arrived we planned to hunker down and enjoy the show.
The worst part was we knew what it was. Hand foot and mouth disease had been going around in his classroom, and after just four days back in the petri dish Colin caught the virus. This was bad for multiple reasons. First, it is a nasty virus - it starts off with a high fever, followed by intense itchiness on the child's feet, after which their feet hands and mouth all break out in blisters. Second, it meant the baby was at risk to get it (H and I were safe - as adults the symptoms are very mild. Typically an adult will just get one or two canker sores and they'll never know it was anything more than that). Finally, it was a work disaster: we had to keep Colin home all week. I worked from home on Monday and Friday, H stayed home on Tuesday and Wednesday, and my in-laws were kind enough to watch him on Thursday. Thursday was tough, as H had an extra 2 hours of driving to do (on top of his already insane commute) but Colin had a great day with his grandparents so it wasn't all bad.
Colin is now fully recovered, it looks like the baby is safe (we're past the incubation period), and after our long Labor Day weekend we're all back to our normal routine. However this latest illness has put the whole daycare situation back under review.
H and I are now discussing the feasibility of hiring a nanny or au pair instead of taking the boys to daycare. It isn't that we are dissatisfied with the facility we're using, or the staff. But by putting young children in group situations like this, where other parents are regularly sending sick kids in to school because they don't have any backup plan, we are simply exposing them to more germs than I care to think about. In some ways daycare is good - the boys make a lot of friends, learn group interaction at a young age, and the curriculum at the school is excellent. I have my own trepidation about a nanny, since it would be one person, alone all day with my kids. I'm terrified having heard so many horror stories about nannies abusing or ignoring kids, although I know there are a lot of wonderful caring nannies as well. But when your 2-year old gets a creepy virus like this, and in spite of the school's best efforts the sickness continues to run rampant through the school, it puts things in a different light and is making me reconsider my reservations.
One major factor in moving forward with this, however, is our living situation. Many nannies expect to have room and board included as part of the compensation, and our 2-bedroom townhouse just isn't big enough to accommodate another adult living here. However if we could realize some savings from switching to a nanny (over the astronomical cost of having two kids in daycare) and divert those funds into our house payment it might enable us to get a larger home sooner than we planned.
There's a lot of number crunching that we have to do before we can be sure how we want to proceed, but even if it costs us more initially it might be worth it. We would be protecting our kids from these insane diseases, we would be investing in property at a time when interest rates are low and home values have dipped, and we would be in a better school system for when Colin (and Ryan) are ready to move from daycare to school. Our plan had been to move to a better school system the summer before Colin starts kindergarten, when we know our daycare bills are going down, but it may make sense to move up that timetable.
For now we're back to school, and back to work, but there's a good chance the situation will change in the months to come. Until then just wish us luck that neither kid will come down with another plague.
It was a rough start because I was very out of practice in preparing for the day, the routine has expanded now that I need to get things ready for Colin, Ryan and myself, and I was dealing with the general heartbreak of my boys spending their days with someone else again. So between preparing Colin's breakfast and lunch, my breakfast and lunch, and Ryan's bottles I was up until about 1:00AM. Then I had to get ready for bed, nurse the baby, and before I knew what happened it was 2AM before I got to sleep. And of course Ryan, who had been sleeping a solid 6 hours every night (midnight - 6AM) decided he was starving at 4AM, so I was up for a half hour, then had to get up at 5:30. So I started back going on about 2½ hours of sleep. OUCH!
Tuesday morning arrived and H came to school with me as we dropped the boys off, which was incredibly helpful. Emotionally I needed him there for support (the first day is tough) and physically I needed him to help lug the 37 bags of crap that I had to bring in.
We first went into the infant room and dropped Ryan off, then went down to get Colin settled. We sat with the big guy as he ate most of his breakfast, then left him in the arms of his favorite teacher (Miss Lynn). Then back down to say one last goodbye to Ryan.
I had made three bottles for Ryan - one biggie for breakfast, a second smaller one (for second breakfast!), and one for the afternoon. And I was coming at lunch to feed him, so I thought I had a great plan all set up. I called the school around 9:00 just to see how Ryan was doing, expecting to be reassured that everything was fine. It wasn't. He adamantly refused the bottle. They kept trying for an hour, but he wouldn't eat, and I could hear him crying in the background.
I was terribly upset, so I called H. First he suggested that I drive over to the school and nurse Ryan myself so he didn't go hungry. Unfortunately because of my meeting schedule this wasn't possible, I had to just agonize and hope for the best. Later H sent me a text with a kernel of wisdom... "I was thinking about it. Kids are great at two things... adapting and manipulating. If you run over and feed him he will continue to refuse the bottle so he can see you (manipulation). If he figures out that he needs to take the bottle to feel better obviously he adapts. So let's try for adaptation." This felt a little harsh since we are talking about a 12-week old infant, but in some ways is incredibly wise. And sure enough, when they tried the second bottle he finally took it.
Lunch was a relief, though. I went in and picked Ryan up, and he immediately snuggled into my neck. A soft, warm bundle of baby boy. I inhaled his scent, reveling in the luxury of having him back in my arms. After I fed him he was drowsy, and I gave him to Miss Jill and then went down to check on Colin. He was sound asleep (nap time) but his teacher told me he was having a great day so nothing to worry about there.
The afternoon was smooth for Ryan as he took his bottle relatively well, however Mother Nature threw us for a loop: there was an earthquake!!! No damage anywhere, but it shook the whole state which was a little bizarre. After work I zoomed over to get my boys, we headed home, and I have to admit Ryan seemed extra snuggly. This might have been all in my head, or perhaps wishful thinking, but it sure seemed like it.
Day 2 came along, and I was confident that it would be better. I was better prepared, got a little more sleep, and darn it this was going to work! As we were getting ready that morning Ryan was being an angel, happily laying in his bassinet looking up at his cow toy, and watching the fan. But Colin about wrecked me when I went to get him dressed.
C: No, Mommy. No! Don't wanna go to school!
Me: But I have to go to work, Colin. And you and Baby Ryan can't stay home alone.
C: Don't go to work, Mommy. Don't go to work! STAY HOME!!
I nearly broke down sobbing, right along with Colin, but somehow we got through that morning and the rest of the week. Then over the weekend Mother Nature struck again. We had to prepare for - no, I'm not kidding - a hurricane. Irene was headed our way, and the eye of the storm was targeted to go right over central NJ, Edison in fact. H did our usual grocery shopping on Thursday night amid chaotic crowds, we made sure all the electronics were charged and everything outside (chairs, planters, etc.) was in the garage, and when Saturday arrived we planned to hunker down and enjoy the show.
The worst part was we knew what it was. Hand foot and mouth disease had been going around in his classroom, and after just four days back in the petri dish Colin caught the virus. This was bad for multiple reasons. First, it is a nasty virus - it starts off with a high fever, followed by intense itchiness on the child's feet, after which their feet hands and mouth all break out in blisters. Second, it meant the baby was at risk to get it (H and I were safe - as adults the symptoms are very mild. Typically an adult will just get one or two canker sores and they'll never know it was anything more than that). Finally, it was a work disaster: we had to keep Colin home all week. I worked from home on Monday and Friday, H stayed home on Tuesday and Wednesday, and my in-laws were kind enough to watch him on Thursday. Thursday was tough, as H had an extra 2 hours of driving to do (on top of his already insane commute) but Colin had a great day with his grandparents so it wasn't all bad.
Colin is now fully recovered, it looks like the baby is safe (we're past the incubation period), and after our long Labor Day weekend we're all back to our normal routine. However this latest illness has put the whole daycare situation back under review.
H and I are now discussing the feasibility of hiring a nanny or au pair instead of taking the boys to daycare. It isn't that we are dissatisfied with the facility we're using, or the staff. But by putting young children in group situations like this, where other parents are regularly sending sick kids in to school because they don't have any backup plan, we are simply exposing them to more germs than I care to think about. In some ways daycare is good - the boys make a lot of friends, learn group interaction at a young age, and the curriculum at the school is excellent. I have my own trepidation about a nanny, since it would be one person, alone all day with my kids. I'm terrified having heard so many horror stories about nannies abusing or ignoring kids, although I know there are a lot of wonderful caring nannies as well. But when your 2-year old gets a creepy virus like this, and in spite of the school's best efforts the sickness continues to run rampant through the school, it puts things in a different light and is making me reconsider my reservations.
One major factor in moving forward with this, however, is our living situation. Many nannies expect to have room and board included as part of the compensation, and our 2-bedroom townhouse just isn't big enough to accommodate another adult living here. However if we could realize some savings from switching to a nanny (over the astronomical cost of having two kids in daycare) and divert those funds into our house payment it might enable us to get a larger home sooner than we planned.
There's a lot of number crunching that we have to do before we can be sure how we want to proceed, but even if it costs us more initially it might be worth it. We would be protecting our kids from these insane diseases, we would be investing in property at a time when interest rates are low and home values have dipped, and we would be in a better school system for when Colin (and Ryan) are ready to move from daycare to school. Our plan had been to move to a better school system the summer before Colin starts kindergarten, when we know our daycare bills are going down, but it may make sense to move up that timetable.
For now we're back to school, and back to work, but there's a good chance the situation will change in the months to come. Until then just wish us luck that neither kid will come down with another plague.
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