Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Yes, I am a David Bowie fan, but this post isn't about him.
After three years we have made the decision to leave our current daycare provider (who I'll call the Schmoddard School) for a new experience. In some ways I think this decision was easier for Hari than for me, although we both put a lot of time and consideration into it.
Hari describes it like this: Schmoddard dropped our kid on his head (literally), there's a bully in his class who has been terrorizing kids for over a year and nothing has been done about it, Colin is picking up bad habits from some of the kids/teachers, he's crying a lot and doesn't seem challenged, I had to fight with the director to keep Colin from being left behind for a third time, they converted the "gym" into another classroom so the kids don't have a good place to play if the weather is bad, we don't get along well with the owner, they are consistently reactive instead of proactive, and Ryan was moving up anyway so he wouldn't be with Jill any more as of next month. The new place is a brand new facility with all new equipment and everything else, they're going to be on their best behavior because they are new, AND we're going to save $350 a month. Why on earth wouldn't we move?!?
He has this very healthy perspective on life and change in general. Once he's made a decision he is very positive, and expects things to work out well. If something goes wrong he's pretty upset, but if everything goes right then it is smooth sailing (barring his neurotic wife and her issues!) and he doesn't keep himself up nights over stupid things.
I, sadly, don't work that way. I make a decision, then agonize about it. Are we doing the right thing? Is this going to be hard on the kids? Schmoddard isn't perfect, and Colin isn't happy in his current class, but it can always be worse. What if it is worse? What if he is miserable? What if Ryan is miserable? What-If-What-If-What-If!?!?
There's also the personal side of things for me. Over the past three years I have made friends with some of the teachers and parents. Not only am I there every morning and every evening for drop-off and pickup, I spend my lunch at the school every day. For better or worse, I interact more with the teachers than I do with any other women (not counting work). And there's the moms... I've gone through the growth pains of motherhood with some of these ladies. We've watched each our little ones mature from tiny infants who couldn't even roll over into talking, singing, running children. Even if I only see them for a few minutes here and there, it somehow feels like a support group.
Yes, I know. No one is dying. We're not moving to Mars. Why are you being so dramatic? And yes, I'm sure I'll meet parents and get to know teachers at the new school. But the interactions that I've had and the relationships I've developed will be gone. I'm not the best with change, and this has been incredibly hard on me. As ridiculous as it sounds, I've probably been in tears about this at least once a day since we made the decision. Even though if I look at it rationally, I know it is the right decision.
To make it worse, once I put in notice at our current daycare (we had to give 30 days to get our deposit back) all the teachers started coming up to me, utterly shocked saying how much they are all going to miss Colin and Ryan. One teacher who works at the front desk and has always been especially wonderful with the Colin won't even look at me now. She used to chat with me almost every day when I was signing the kids out, or in passing in the hallway, and now she doesn't even make eye contact.
So, it is with great trepidation that I say starting in July both boys will be moving to the new school. I've started reaching out to some of the key parents (and teachers) who I'd like to stay in contact with, and hope that Colin can have play-dates with some of the kids he's known since infancy. Ryan has one truly close friend Mitchell (just 5 days older than Ryan, and they're as thick-as-thieves) but I don't know if we'll be able to stay in contact and have a sad feeling that they'll just fall out of touch.
The key, for me, is to make sure that I shield Colin (and Ryan) as much as possible from my concerns, and that we stay focused on how fun and wonderful things will be at the new facility. During our initial tour and sign-up Colin had a blast playing with the toys in the Preschool room and in the indoor play-area (a giant room set up like a kid-sized main street, with a 2nd floor that has a slide going into a giant pool of plastic balls), and he talks about it now frequently when we drive past the facility. AND they have an excellent academic curriculum (over 85% of their students are reading before they enter kindergarten). AND all programs and extra activities are included at no extra charge (Schomddard offered nice extras - soccer, karate, etc. - but charged for everything). AND they serve school lunches at no extra charge.
SO.... here's to keeping the best of the old, and looking ahead to a bright new future for our boys.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes...
After three years we have made the decision to leave our current daycare provider (who I'll call the Schmoddard School) for a new experience. In some ways I think this decision was easier for Hari than for me, although we both put a lot of time and consideration into it.
Hari describes it like this: Schmoddard dropped our kid on his head (literally), there's a bully in his class who has been terrorizing kids for over a year and nothing has been done about it, Colin is picking up bad habits from some of the kids/teachers, he's crying a lot and doesn't seem challenged, I had to fight with the director to keep Colin from being left behind for a third time, they converted the "gym" into another classroom so the kids don't have a good place to play if the weather is bad, we don't get along well with the owner, they are consistently reactive instead of proactive, and Ryan was moving up anyway so he wouldn't be with Jill any more as of next month. The new place is a brand new facility with all new equipment and everything else, they're going to be on their best behavior because they are new, AND we're going to save $350 a month. Why on earth wouldn't we move?!?
He has this very healthy perspective on life and change in general. Once he's made a decision he is very positive, and expects things to work out well. If something goes wrong he's pretty upset, but if everything goes right then it is smooth sailing (barring his neurotic wife and her issues!) and he doesn't keep himself up nights over stupid things.
I, sadly, don't work that way. I make a decision, then agonize about it. Are we doing the right thing? Is this going to be hard on the kids? Schmoddard isn't perfect, and Colin isn't happy in his current class, but it can always be worse. What if it is worse? What if he is miserable? What if Ryan is miserable? What-If-What-If-What-If!?!?
There's also the personal side of things for me. Over the past three years I have made friends with some of the teachers and parents. Not only am I there every morning and every evening for drop-off and pickup, I spend my lunch at the school every day. For better or worse, I interact more with the teachers than I do with any other women (not counting work). And there's the moms... I've gone through the growth pains of motherhood with some of these ladies. We've watched each our little ones mature from tiny infants who couldn't even roll over into talking, singing, running children. Even if I only see them for a few minutes here and there, it somehow feels like a support group.
Yes, I know. No one is dying. We're not moving to Mars. Why are you being so dramatic? And yes, I'm sure I'll meet parents and get to know teachers at the new school. But the interactions that I've had and the relationships I've developed will be gone. I'm not the best with change, and this has been incredibly hard on me. As ridiculous as it sounds, I've probably been in tears about this at least once a day since we made the decision. Even though if I look at it rationally, I know it is the right decision.
To make it worse, once I put in notice at our current daycare (we had to give 30 days to get our deposit back) all the teachers started coming up to me, utterly shocked saying how much they are all going to miss Colin and Ryan. One teacher who works at the front desk and has always been especially wonderful with the Colin won't even look at me now. She used to chat with me almost every day when I was signing the kids out, or in passing in the hallway, and now she doesn't even make eye contact.
So, it is with great trepidation that I say starting in July both boys will be moving to the new school. I've started reaching out to some of the key parents (and teachers) who I'd like to stay in contact with, and hope that Colin can have play-dates with some of the kids he's known since infancy. Ryan has one truly close friend Mitchell (just 5 days older than Ryan, and they're as thick-as-thieves) but I don't know if we'll be able to stay in contact and have a sad feeling that they'll just fall out of touch.
The key, for me, is to make sure that I shield Colin (and Ryan) as much as possible from my concerns, and that we stay focused on how fun and wonderful things will be at the new facility. During our initial tour and sign-up Colin had a blast playing with the toys in the Preschool room and in the indoor play-area (a giant room set up like a kid-sized main street, with a 2nd floor that has a slide going into a giant pool of plastic balls), and he talks about it now frequently when we drive past the facility. AND they have an excellent academic curriculum (over 85% of their students are reading before they enter kindergarten). AND all programs and extra activities are included at no extra charge (Schomddard offered nice extras - soccer, karate, etc. - but charged for everything). AND they serve school lunches at no extra charge.
SO.... here's to keeping the best of the old, and looking ahead to a bright new future for our boys.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes...
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