Banana-pocalypse 2023

During the holidays I made sure that both boys cleaned out their lunch boxes.  And then hung them (opened) in the garage, so there wouldn't be any weird science projects growing over break.  I thought I was pretty clever.  But the Universe likes to keep me in check, so I should have expected something.

I could not have predicted what actually happened.

The boys went back to school on Tuesday, and everything was pretty much business as usual.  The boys make their own lunches, but I know I need to remind them (a few thousand times each evening) to get the lunch made and ready for the next day.  It is our usual routine, no big deal.

On Thursday night, I saw some liquid on the floor next to Ryan's lunch box, which of course had been discarded on the floor in the front hallway.  Ryan insisted it was just his water bottle leaking, which sounded plausible since the water bottle was right there, and was laying on its side.  I wiped up the water and told him to make his lunch.

Sadly, or perhaps fortunately, Ryan didn't make his lunch that night.  Nor did Colin.  And because they were running late on Friday morning I decided I'd be nice and make their lunches for them.  I threw together a couple of quick sandwiches, grabbed fruit and a milk, and was going to load their lunch boxes.

I grabbed them both. Colin had a used Tupperware in his, which I took out and put in the dishwasher.  No surprise there.  Then I opened Ryan's lunchbox.  HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD... the monstrosity I found... 

The banana couldn't have been in there for more than a few days, but had completely liquified.  I checked the hallway, and yes, there was a puddle of gelatinous ooze right where his lunchbox had been.  The plastic container held 3-day-old chicken which was also now completely rancid. Ryan had been carrying this back and forth to school, most likely all week long.

I called him down, showed him the mess, and he nearly vomited. I then gave him the good news that he would have the honor of cleaning the whole thing out himself when he got home from school today. This was not going to be my problem. And because I didn't want that stinking up the house, he was instructed to put it in a garbage bag OUTSIDE, where it would be waiting for him.

*fast forward to this afternoon *

I laughed waaay too much as my son repeatedly gagged as he cleaned up his banana soup. The boy was not amused. I nearly peed my pants I was cackling so much.

“IT IS NOT FREAKING FUNNY MOM!!! STOP LAUGHING!!“

Ryan gagged. He insisted he was going to vomit. He gagged again.

I then gleefully told him if he threw up, he'd have to clean that up too, at which point he decided that gagging and complaining were sufficient.

I continued to laugh hysterically.

When the initial cleanup was done and he had moved on to scrubbing the lunchbox, he said if he knew this was going to happen he would have taken an applesauce instead.

I’m calling this a lesson learned.

And for the record, this will NEVER be not funny.