Sad
Yesterday at lunchtime, as usual, I left the office. My mind was on about 100 things from work, and a few thousand things that I needed to get done. A birthday party this weekend for which I had not yet purchased a present, buying (and shipping) gifts to family out of town, final preparations for our own personal celebration, laundry... all the usual mundane insanity that seems to eat up every waking moment of my life. I had so much to do I planned to just call the school to check in on the boys, and then run some errands during my break.
When I heard the story on the radio that all stopped.
The details were just breaking, but the basics of the story were that at a grade school in a small Connecticut town there had been a shooting. The number of innocents killed by the maniac wasn't confirmed yet, and they didn't know anything about the murdering jacka$$ aside from the fact that he was also deceased. And while the reporters didn't know much, it sounded like some of the dead might have been students.
Tears sprang to my eyes, as I thought about those poor parents who had undoubtedly started the day the same as me. Thinking about work, and the holidays, and laundry. Possibly annoyed by their children who didn't finish breakfast or who were slow getting ready in the morning and maybe made them late for work. How they had no idea when they left the house that morning that by noon their lives would be shattered. (And yes, I'm crying again just thinking about this.)
I truly cannot fathom the horror, pain, anguish and anger they must be experiencing. And I'm grateful for that. I consider that a mercy. We've hit a few bumps in the road with each of our boys. Finding out half-way through my pregnancy with Colin that he had a cleft was hard news to swallow. The call I got when Colin was 9 months old telling me that he'd been dropped on his head (on concrete!) while at daycare was no fun. Ryan's recent breathing difficulties and trips to the ER have been no picnic. Each of these incidents consumed my world, but they were all (thankfully) minor incidents and both my boys are happy, healthy, and safe.
What would the parents of the 20 slain children in New Hope give to be in the ER with their children? What wouldn't they trade to have their little one take 10 minutes to put on their shoes again? What would they give to hear shrieking voices as children race around the house? How much would they love to have spilled milk in their kitchen, hearing the inevitable "uh-oh" of a kid who realized they hadn't been paying attention and knocked over their glass again?
The news continues to come out, and there will be inevitable discussions yet again about school security measures, gun control, and other political nonsense. I could truly care less about any of that right now.
Last night and this morning I am just incredibly grateful to have my two boys here with me. Ryan dumping 15 books out of our bookcase onto the floor as he searches for the one he wants to me read. Both of them devouring their breakfasts (and, of course, Ryan demanding second breakfast, and then another snack - I swear the kid is part hobbit!). Playing with Sydney. Making crumbs all over the floor that I'll have to sweep up. Battling over who has control of the iPad. Colin not listening to me the first time (or the second, or the third).
But at least they're here. Safe at home where I can hug and kiss them. Blissfully ignorant of the spectacular tragedy that took place yesterday.
The tales of heroism continue. The teachers and administrators who protected the children as best they could, some of whom gave up their lives trying to shield their students from a horrible young man with evil intentions. The brave students who survived the shooting, but will spend the days and weeks to come trying to understand that their friends are gone forever. The amazing students (some in kindergarten!) who took action and escaped the carnage. The local police and firefighters who responded immediately, without regard for their own safety. And the investigators who are even now trying to piece together what happened, and understand the unfathomable.
I think every parent in the country (and many around the world) are going to hold their sons and daughters just a little bit closer today. Will appreciate the joyful noise (and even the ridiculous bickering). Grateful in the knowledge that our children are still with us.
My heart goes out to all impacted by the unimaginable horror in Connecticut yesterday. As parents, and as a nation we grieve for your loss.
When I heard the story on the radio that all stopped.
The details were just breaking, but the basics of the story were that at a grade school in a small Connecticut town there had been a shooting. The number of innocents killed by the maniac wasn't confirmed yet, and they didn't know anything about the murdering jacka$$ aside from the fact that he was also deceased. And while the reporters didn't know much, it sounded like some of the dead might have been students.
Tears sprang to my eyes, as I thought about those poor parents who had undoubtedly started the day the same as me. Thinking about work, and the holidays, and laundry. Possibly annoyed by their children who didn't finish breakfast or who were slow getting ready in the morning and maybe made them late for work. How they had no idea when they left the house that morning that by noon their lives would be shattered. (And yes, I'm crying again just thinking about this.)
I truly cannot fathom the horror, pain, anguish and anger they must be experiencing. And I'm grateful for that. I consider that a mercy. We've hit a few bumps in the road with each of our boys. Finding out half-way through my pregnancy with Colin that he had a cleft was hard news to swallow. The call I got when Colin was 9 months old telling me that he'd been dropped on his head (on concrete!) while at daycare was no fun. Ryan's recent breathing difficulties and trips to the ER have been no picnic. Each of these incidents consumed my world, but they were all (thankfully) minor incidents and both my boys are happy, healthy, and safe.
What would the parents of the 20 slain children in New Hope give to be in the ER with their children? What wouldn't they trade to have their little one take 10 minutes to put on their shoes again? What would they give to hear shrieking voices as children race around the house? How much would they love to have spilled milk in their kitchen, hearing the inevitable "uh-oh" of a kid who realized they hadn't been paying attention and knocked over their glass again?
The news continues to come out, and there will be inevitable discussions yet again about school security measures, gun control, and other political nonsense. I could truly care less about any of that right now.
Last night and this morning I am just incredibly grateful to have my two boys here with me. Ryan dumping 15 books out of our bookcase onto the floor as he searches for the one he wants to me read. Both of them devouring their breakfasts (and, of course, Ryan demanding second breakfast, and then another snack - I swear the kid is part hobbit!). Playing with Sydney. Making crumbs all over the floor that I'll have to sweep up. Battling over who has control of the iPad. Colin not listening to me the first time (or the second, or the third).
But at least they're here. Safe at home where I can hug and kiss them. Blissfully ignorant of the spectacular tragedy that took place yesterday.
The tales of heroism continue. The teachers and administrators who protected the children as best they could, some of whom gave up their lives trying to shield their students from a horrible young man with evil intentions. The brave students who survived the shooting, but will spend the days and weeks to come trying to understand that their friends are gone forever. The amazing students (some in kindergarten!) who took action and escaped the carnage. The local police and firefighters who responded immediately, without regard for their own safety. And the investigators who are even now trying to piece together what happened, and understand the unfathomable.
I think every parent in the country (and many around the world) are going to hold their sons and daughters just a little bit closer today. Will appreciate the joyful noise (and even the ridiculous bickering). Grateful in the knowledge that our children are still with us.
My heart goes out to all impacted by the unimaginable horror in Connecticut yesterday. As parents, and as a nation we grieve for your loss.
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