Pondering

Thinking about my day yesterday, I wonder what happened to the woman I was before Colin arrived. It used to make me stir crazy to stay at home all day. I would get freaked out that I was cooped up inside. If I didn't work out for at least an hour a day I would start to feel somewhat panicked. (Seriously!) And, perhaps most telling, I would have completely freaked out if someone threw up all over me. I also wasn't into babies, was convinced that I would be a terrible mother, and was terrified at the thought of ever being pregnant.

That woman is, apparently, dead and gone. Replaced by a look-alike who isn't really ANYTHING like the old me. I knew that the body-snatchers had completed the transformation yesterday when, after a morning of happily, lazily hanging out with H and the baby, the little guy tidal-wave-puked all over me and my reaction was to laugh. I didn't think "ew." Not even a tiny "ick." I just laughed and laughed, and tried really hard to not move so the spit-up would stay caught in the crevasse of my collar bone until H could come along with a burp-cloth so I could mop it up.

Happily making moronic noises and faces to entertain an infant... intentionally trying to keep vomit ON me, and laughing about it... thrilled to be a mom and loving every minute of it... thinking about how wonderful it would be to have more children... who is this person and where did she come from???