New Vocabulary

Thanks to the current pandemic we have some new vocabulary:

• Covidiot - someone who ignores all warnings from medical professionals.  Also, someone who hoards necessary items (toilet paper, surgical masks, Purel, etc.).
• Social Distancing - a loose protocol to help prevent transmission of the disease.  The recommended minimum distance between individuals is 6 feet.
• They mark off 6-foot increments in stores to keep people in lines separated.
• Six feet is approximately the length of an adult llama.  I saw this graphic once and it is now forever stuck in my head.
• Don't shake hands, don't hug.
• Quarantini - a martini you drink while sitting home.  ALONE.
• Coronacation - being stuck at home due to quarantine.  It isn't a vacation, it's a CRONOAcation!
• The jokes... people are coping as best they can, using humor as the weapon of choice.
• Social media hoax posts that alcohol sales will be banned are everywhere.  (Can't happen - this is considered an "essential" service just like groceries and hospitals.
• Photos of a bottle of Corona in a fridge.  All the rest of the beer/groceries are cowering on the other side wearing a medical mask.
• T-Rexes are survivors because they can't touch their face.
• Photos of a man dressed all in gold, drowning in gold chains... jokingly posted as the CEO of Lysol or Clorox.
• Long Distance Courtship is BACK!  Forget Tinder and other social media apps where you meet a stranger for a quick encounter.  We are back to Victorian England.  Everyone will now have 2-3 months to get to know someone before they even meet.  And by then the concept of physical contact is probably going to be a whole lot different than it was.
• Food Delivery - not just takeout anymore.  Everyone (yours truly included) is now ordering groceries for delivery.  Today is my first try, we'll see how it goes.  I plan to disinfect everything (I'll be wiping down every package with Clorox wipes and triple scrub all produce), but at least we didn't have to go out to a store.
• Toilet Paper - you just can't get the stuff.  It is crazy.  It isn't in the stores, you can't buy it online.  Even Amazon is out.  If you have some it is priceless.
• Heros - they don't all wear capes.  Doctors, nurses, and grocery store clerks.  They are all still showing up to work every day.  Exposed to the public and the virus on a daily basis.
• Homeschool - we all are getting a good idea of just how lucky we are that kids have schools to attend.  
• Self Isolation: if you think you may have symptoms of COVID-19 you are expected to fully isolate yourself.  Don't leave the house (unless you're going for medical attention).  You should also isolate within your house from the rest of your family - so basically if you have a bedroom with an attached bath you stay there with the door closed.  Family can bring you food but shouldn't have any direct interaction.

At this point we expect to be on lockdown at least through the end of April.  Wimbledon has been canceled and the PGA is expected to cancel the British Open.  The US Open (tennis) is probably next, and I expect it will be a minor miracle if there's a baseball season this year.