The Great Ketchup Debacle

Two nights ago I cooked up some tater tots as a side dish with dinner. I ate with one boy, and left a plate for the other who was at baseball practice. For the record, ketchup was NOT used by me or my son when we ate. 

Yesterday morning I unwittingly opened the fridge, and a 98% full bottle of ketchup tipped over and fell approximately 7 miles from the top shelf to the floor.  The SECOND nearly empty bottle of ketchup was still on the shelf. 

It appears that after I went to bed either my son, an evil elf, or some creepy night stalker opened a 2nd bottle of ketchup (king-sized, of course), precariously balanced it (cap side down, of course) on the top shelf next to another nearly-empty ketchup bottle, and left it there for me.  When it hit the floor the cap shattered, and the contents exploded everywhere.

Up and down both of my legs. 

On the cabinets. 

On the opposite wall (6+ feet up)

All over the floor

On the rug in the front hallway

On the garbage can (top and sides)

On the coffeemaker and toaster

And, of course, all over poor Wally who looked like he had been in some sort of horrible accident

(Addie used her teleportation skills to escape unscathed - she doesn't like loud noises)

All of this at roughly 7:15AM. 

I then had the joy of spending time before breakfast cleaning the walls, scrubbing the floor, and looking around for additional spots that I missed the first time through.  

At lunch, I found more (now dried) ketchup on the back of my leg.

As I cooked dinner, I was finding new small splatters around the kitchen. I expect this will continue for weeks. 

Rating: ZERO STARS

DO NOT RECOMMEND

Bonus: no one will own up to opening the 2nd bottle of ketchup and setting the booby trap.