The iDilemma
Let me start by saying that every family has different styles, so I'm not saying what I do is better than anyone else (or worse). We're all bumbling through this parenting thing as best we can.
But last night Colin came up to me with a very earnest question. He wasn't mad, or pouting, he just seemed to be asking something that was on his mind. "Mommy, how come all our friends have an iPad and we don't?"
Now, that isn't entirely accurate. We have two iPads in the house, as well as my old iPhone, which is no longer working as a phone but is otherwise fully functional and can do everything when connected to wi-fi. But I keep a passcode on everything (which I change frequently) and the boys can only use the electronics with permission.
The past two days we spent time with two different families. On both days my kids played with the other boys, each of whom have their own iPad. Not a family iPad, their iPad which they keep in their room, and is for them alone. And Colin wanted to know why his friends (who are both younger than him) had an iPad and neither he nor Ryan had one.
My pat answer on this is that we do have an iPad, but daddy gave it to me as a present so they can only use it with permission.
Colin is right - in most households (at least here in central NJ) by the time kids are in grade school most of them have their own electronics. I suppose I'm old-fashioned, but I just don't see the need for it. My kids are involved in various sports, they have school work to do, and I know darned well that if they had their own iPad it would be a total distraction. They wouldn't do their homework, Colin would stop reading, and they'd just get sucked into multi-hour sessions of Minecraft, Roblox and YouTube videos. Plus Colin would probably never sleep again.
And so my poor "deprived" sons go outside and play football, and tag, and dig in the mud (ugh) and play with worms, and ride their bikes, and get to know the other kids in our neighborhood (in person, not via their Minecraft account). And I'm willing to take the hit as a "mean mom" on this one. Proud of it, in fact. My boys aren't going to be mistaken for Luddites any time soon - they know the games, can play along with other kids when given the opportunity, but at least for now I'm going to continue to keep a pretty tight rein on this stuff and let them enjoy a childhood where they're active and come home for dinner sweaty and tired. For me, that's how it should be.
But last night Colin came up to me with a very earnest question. He wasn't mad, or pouting, he just seemed to be asking something that was on his mind. "Mommy, how come all our friends have an iPad and we don't?"
Now, that isn't entirely accurate. We have two iPads in the house, as well as my old iPhone, which is no longer working as a phone but is otherwise fully functional and can do everything when connected to wi-fi. But I keep a passcode on everything (which I change frequently) and the boys can only use the electronics with permission.
The past two days we spent time with two different families. On both days my kids played with the other boys, each of whom have their own iPad. Not a family iPad, their iPad which they keep in their room, and is for them alone. And Colin wanted to know why his friends (who are both younger than him) had an iPad and neither he nor Ryan had one.
My pat answer on this is that we do have an iPad, but daddy gave it to me as a present so they can only use it with permission.
Colin is right - in most households (at least here in central NJ) by the time kids are in grade school most of them have their own electronics. I suppose I'm old-fashioned, but I just don't see the need for it. My kids are involved in various sports, they have school work to do, and I know darned well that if they had their own iPad it would be a total distraction. They wouldn't do their homework, Colin would stop reading, and they'd just get sucked into multi-hour sessions of Minecraft, Roblox and YouTube videos. Plus Colin would probably never sleep again.
And so my poor "deprived" sons go outside and play football, and tag, and dig in the mud (ugh) and play with worms, and ride their bikes, and get to know the other kids in our neighborhood (in person, not via their Minecraft account). And I'm willing to take the hit as a "mean mom" on this one. Proud of it, in fact. My boys aren't going to be mistaken for Luddites any time soon - they know the games, can play along with other kids when given the opportunity, but at least for now I'm going to continue to keep a pretty tight rein on this stuff and let them enjoy a childhood where they're active and come home for dinner sweaty and tired. For me, that's how it should be.
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