Elves (Good and Bad)
Last night I hit a frustration point. Colin was (as usual) taking too long to eat dinner, so all plans for any activity were kaput. I even held out the possibility of taking a walk to go see the bats, or letting the boys take a long bath - nothing worked.
Actually, those offers worked great... if the desired result was to have a 4-year-old sobbing and clutching my leg whining that he wanted to go for a waaaaaalk to see the baaaaaaats. While he sobbed and whined I had him help me clean up the kitchen from dinner and eventually the dishes were all away and we were done.
I was about to start herding the boys upstairs when I looked over at the play area and saw... disaster-toy-tornado. I swear at least three of the bins must have literally ejected every toy and tidbit they held and when the toys hit the floor they multiplied three-fold. And, I'm not proud to admit, I snapped.
Me: Colin, did you know that if you leave your toys out there are elves who will come overnight and take them all away.
Colin: WHAAAT?!?! (more sobbing) What elves??? I don't like elves. They're bad. They're BAD. BAAAAD ELVES!!
Me: (feeling a wee bit of guilt) Well, Colin, they aren't all bad. There are good elves too - sometimes they bring you gifts if you're good.
C: But the bad elves will take my toys? I don't like that. I don't like the bad elves, Mommy. BAD ELVES!!!
Me: But if you put all your toys away the bad elves won't come.
C: (starting to put toys away, still sobbing) Bad elves. BAD ELVES! Mommy, how did you hear about the bad elves?
Me: (think quick, Monica... c'mon.... think quick) I read about them.
C: (more toys, disappearing into bins) Mommy... are the bad elves big?
Me: (realizing things might be heading down a really bad road) No, Colin. They're really small - so small you can't even see them. But if they find toys left out they use teamwork to take them away.
C: I see one, Mommy. I see one of the good elves. Look - right there! (pointing to an open spot on the floor) He told me the bad elves will take my toys. Bad elves. BAD elves.
Me: Yes, Colin. That's why we better put everything away.
C: (still crying and putting toys away) Bad elves. Bad elves. I don't want the bad elves to come. I don't like the bad elves. BAD elves!
Me: Well, Colin, the bad elves will look in the window - if there aren't any toys left out they can't come in the house.
After cleaning up all the toys in the play area Colin made another sweep of the entire downstairs to make sure he didn't miss anything. Then when we were upstairs he put away the toys that were left out in our bathroom, and my bedroom, and some books from his bedroom floor. He even put away the sticker books that Ryan has left out (all over the house!) for the past three weeks.
Yes, I'm awful. I know. I'm a horrible mother and I've probably scarred the kid for life. I'm giving him OCD and paranoid fears about mythical creatures who are going to steal his stuff in the dark of night. But you know what? Every single toy and book in our entire house was put away last night. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Without me having to ask 10 times, or plead, or cajole, or yell, or threaten. And I'm thinking maybe the bad elves aren't really so bad... I might just keep them around.
MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Actually, those offers worked great... if the desired result was to have a 4-year-old sobbing and clutching my leg whining that he wanted to go for a waaaaaalk to see the baaaaaaats. While he sobbed and whined I had him help me clean up the kitchen from dinner and eventually the dishes were all away and we were done.
I was about to start herding the boys upstairs when I looked over at the play area and saw... disaster-toy-tornado. I swear at least three of the bins must have literally ejected every toy and tidbit they held and when the toys hit the floor they multiplied three-fold. And, I'm not proud to admit, I snapped.
Me: Colin, did you know that if you leave your toys out there are elves who will come overnight and take them all away.
Colin: WHAAAT?!?! (more sobbing) What elves??? I don't like elves. They're bad. They're BAD. BAAAAD ELVES!!
Me: (feeling a wee bit of guilt) Well, Colin, they aren't all bad. There are good elves too - sometimes they bring you gifts if you're good.
C: But the bad elves will take my toys? I don't like that. I don't like the bad elves, Mommy. BAD ELVES!!!
Me: But if you put all your toys away the bad elves won't come.
C: (starting to put toys away, still sobbing) Bad elves. BAD ELVES! Mommy, how did you hear about the bad elves?
Me: (think quick, Monica... c'mon.... think quick) I read about them.
C: (more toys, disappearing into bins) Mommy... are the bad elves big?
Me: (realizing things might be heading down a really bad road) No, Colin. They're really small - so small you can't even see them. But if they find toys left out they use teamwork to take them away.
C: I see one, Mommy. I see one of the good elves. Look - right there! (pointing to an open spot on the floor) He told me the bad elves will take my toys. Bad elves. BAD elves.
Me: Yes, Colin. That's why we better put everything away.
C: (still crying and putting toys away) Bad elves. Bad elves. I don't want the bad elves to come. I don't like the bad elves. BAD elves!
Me: Well, Colin, the bad elves will look in the window - if there aren't any toys left out they can't come in the house.
After cleaning up all the toys in the play area Colin made another sweep of the entire downstairs to make sure he didn't miss anything. Then when we were upstairs he put away the toys that were left out in our bathroom, and my bedroom, and some books from his bedroom floor. He even put away the sticker books that Ryan has left out (all over the house!) for the past three weeks.
Yes, I'm awful. I know. I'm a horrible mother and I've probably scarred the kid for life. I'm giving him OCD and paranoid fears about mythical creatures who are going to steal his stuff in the dark of night. But you know what? Every single toy and book in our entire house was put away last night. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Without me having to ask 10 times, or plead, or cajole, or yell, or threaten. And I'm thinking maybe the bad elves aren't really so bad... I might just keep them around.
MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
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