Hari's Musings: 24 Years

 Today's post isn't about the boys, but it is something I want them to remember.  Their father has an incredible way with words, so I'm shamelessly sharing (and saving!) his Facebook post.  Yesterday was our 24th anniversary, and we had a nice sushi dinner (Danzai!) but ever since 2001 we hold our real celebration on a different day calling it our "un-aversary".  After 9-11 I can never really celebrate on the day itself.

Anyway, Hari posts these wonderful messages, and I'm going to start posting some of them here so the boys can look back and remember their dad's thoughts.

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Happy 24 years of marriage!

The first few years of marriage everything is exciting and new and challenges are met head on. As a young man back then I felt invincible and wanted to prove myself to my wife. I wanted to show her that I could succeed and conquer the world. A few years later I realized that she loves me for trying to be the best version of myself and that I don’t have to give her things just time and attention. I am lucky to have that because that’s exactly who I want to be with anyway.

And of course, a few years later there are kids and all they come with and all they demand. Mini monsters …. I mean mini versions of us in so many ways that are wonderful but exhausting at the same time. I realize marriage is a juggling act, a balancing act, and a well-synchronized duet that’s just trying to keep up as best we can day to day. During these times I lean on knowing that if I fall there is a soft landing because she is there to dust me off and throw me back, I mean help me back into the life cycle again.

And yes as marriage goes on we sadly have to deal with losses of loved ones both friends and family and even though we deal with grief differently we have each other and that takes on an even greater importance than I could have ever imagined all those years earlier. I compare marriage to a developed wine palate. Early on the only wine we can stand is one that is fruit-forward and sweet and can drink fast and easy.

But as time goes on the best bottles age and stand the test of time they have a myriad of layers and complexity and each sip brings out a new flavor and surprise. It’s enjoyed slowly and doesn’t need any food pairings or accouterments…. Sure the glass it's poured in still brings out its beauty but even the sediment at the bottom of the glass has its own wonderful part to play.

I look forward to enjoying every challenge left before us knowing that you’re at my side to face them. You have set such a great example of all a modern wife has to be. Our kids are lucky they have you as a role model. Someone who doesn’t accept limitations, dares to dream, and sets goals to achieve them. All this while showing them it’s okay to swing and miss once in a while as long as you learn from it and never stop trying.

So here’s to you Monica on our anniversary, and here’s to many more enjoyed bottles of wine, and those sip by sip of tastes we’ve yet to discover! Cheers!