Poor Aim
So last night the boys were bickering. Nothing unusual in a household with a 5- and 7-year-old. Out of self-defense I told Colin to go upstairs to finish up his reading homework.
A few minutes later Colin called down, with utter indignation in his voice: "Mommy! Ryan peed in the garbage can and ALL over the floor."
Sadly, this wasn't the first time this happened. But I thought I had fixed the behavior because the last time I handed Ryan a box of Clorox wipes and made him clean everything. That kind of instant karma parenting seems to work well with my boys. So I was not entirely floored, but still quite unhappy.
Meanwhile, Ryan was playing downstairs quietly. Unaware of what was coming.
I went up, and sure enough. The floor and toilet in the boys' bathroom looked like someone took a super-soaker to it. And the garbage can had a small yellow pond in it.
I angrily called Ryan upstairs. I looked him in the eye: "Ryan, did you do this????"
He gave me a blank look... No, Mommy.
Me: Don't lie to me!
Ryan: No, I didn't do it. Maybe it was Sydney?
Me (head exploding): Don't lie to me! Sydney can't aim that high.
Ryan: Mommy, I really don't remember doing it. Honest.
I went to take the plastic bag full of pee out of the garbage can, and put my hand on the bottom to hopefully minimize the risk of it leaking... and it was... warm. Body temperature warm. Like it must have just happened.
And I remembered that since we got home Ryan hadn't been upstairs.
And I realized...
Me: Colin... YOU did this, didn't you????
Colin (with a weird expression on his face): Noooo...
Me. Colin!!!! Tell me the truth.
Colin: No... it wasn't me. (expression getting weirder)
Me: Colin - WHY???
Colin: *silence*
I grabbed the container of Clorox wipes, handed them to Colin, and advised that he was to clean the entire bathroom floor, the entire toilet, and the garbage can (inside and out). Then I (very carefully) carried the warm bag of pee-and-garbage outside to the garbage can. And washed my hands for the next 5 minutes. And then I went downstairs and poured myself a glass of wine.
I still don't have the entire story, but I eventually extracted from Colin that he went to go to the bathroom, missed a little bit, and figured he would pee everywhere and just blame it on Ryan.
The plan backfired thanks to my amazing sleuthing skills - don't mess with Mom!
A few minutes later Colin called down, with utter indignation in his voice: "Mommy! Ryan peed in the garbage can and ALL over the floor."
Sadly, this wasn't the first time this happened. But I thought I had fixed the behavior because the last time I handed Ryan a box of Clorox wipes and made him clean everything. That kind of instant karma parenting seems to work well with my boys. So I was not entirely floored, but still quite unhappy.
Meanwhile, Ryan was playing downstairs quietly. Unaware of what was coming.
I went up, and sure enough. The floor and toilet in the boys' bathroom looked like someone took a super-soaker to it. And the garbage can had a small yellow pond in it.
I angrily called Ryan upstairs. I looked him in the eye: "Ryan, did you do this????"
He gave me a blank look... No, Mommy.
Me: Don't lie to me!
Ryan: No, I didn't do it. Maybe it was Sydney?
Me (head exploding): Don't lie to me! Sydney can't aim that high.
Ryan: Mommy, I really don't remember doing it. Honest.
I went to take the plastic bag full of pee out of the garbage can, and put my hand on the bottom to hopefully minimize the risk of it leaking... and it was... warm. Body temperature warm. Like it must have just happened.
And I remembered that since we got home Ryan hadn't been upstairs.
And I realized...
Me: Colin... YOU did this, didn't you????
Colin (with a weird expression on his face): Noooo...
Me. Colin!!!! Tell me the truth.
Colin: No... it wasn't me. (expression getting weirder)
Me: Colin - WHY???
Colin: *silence*
I grabbed the container of Clorox wipes, handed them to Colin, and advised that he was to clean the entire bathroom floor, the entire toilet, and the garbage can (inside and out). Then I (very carefully) carried the warm bag of pee-and-garbage outside to the garbage can. And washed my hands for the next 5 minutes. And then I went downstairs and poured myself a glass of wine.
I still don't have the entire story, but I eventually extracted from Colin that he went to go to the bathroom, missed a little bit, and figured he would pee everywhere and just blame it on Ryan.
The plan backfired thanks to my amazing sleuthing skills - don't mess with Mom!
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