Homework Wars
The struggle is real.
This is yet another penance I'm doing for having laughed at my friends (nearly 2 decades ago!) when their kids had homework that they didn't want to do. Or that the kids thought was stupid. Or they just didn't get.
That's right. I'm embroiled in an absolute no-win war. The Homework War. This involves a kid (or kids) who fall into one or more of the following categories:
But oh... my darling first son. Whose teacher writes the homework on the board every single day, and told the students at the beginning of the year that they need to write down their homework every day, and the parents need to initial it every night. Easy peasy, right? WRONG.
First, he refuses to write down his work in the planner. No consequence I've come up with has been able to correct this. Then he's mad as a hornet that we go to the library every day after school, but I HAVE to do this. If I bring the boys home they can't focus and the homework just doesn't get done. Because there's a toy/friend/dog/snack/speck-of-dust that gets their attention and then the wheels fall off the cart. So every freaking day we stop at the library, which should really only take about 15-20 minutes. They could sit down, do their homework, and we'd be on our way.
But NOOOOOOOO... instead it goes like this.
*pick up boys from school, I greet them with a smile and we walk to the car*
Colin: Are we going to the stupid library again? I'm NOT GOING. You can't make me.
Me: Actually I can.
Colin: Well, I won't do my work.
Me: ignores him, refusing to take the bait
We arrive at the library, walk in and sit down at a table.
Ryan usually just starts doing his homework. Or goes to the bathroom. Or sometimes complains he's too tired and puts his head down. He's a wildcard. Most days he just gets the work done, but at least once a week he's a hellish mess too. I don't know what to wriiiiiiite. I don't like that sentence Mommy. I don't wanna write that.
Colin typically pulls out a piece of paper and starts doing origami. Which I'd think is super-cool but HE NEEDS TO DO HIS HOMEWORK FIRST. This turns into me stupidly trying to snatch the paper from him. He gets mad. I keep taking his papers away. Then I ask... Can I see your planner?
Colin: (glowering) No.
Me: Why not?
Colin: I. Don't. Have. It.
Me: Why? We talked about this. You need to write down your assignments and bring your planner home every day.
Colin: Well I didn't. Its stupid. I know what I need to do. I don't need to write it down.
Me: But how do I know that you're doing all your work? How can I help check your work?
Colin: YOU DON'T NEED TO. I CAN DO MY OWN WORK! LEAVE ME ALONE!
This continues and repeats until he eventually starts doing his work. He will inevitably run into a question he doesn't understand. I'll help him, and when he's "done" I check his work. And make him correct any wrong answers (I tell him which problem is wrong, he has to figure out what's wrong). And because I'm apparently the meanest most unreasonable mother that ever lived, I also make him re-write his work and answers when it is sloppy. Now I'm not just talking bad penmanship. I mean he has rushed so much that his writing is worse than it was when he was in preschool. Where you can't tell if he wrote a 6, a zero, or the letter "o". And the letters r, n, u and v all look exactly the same.
The sad part is once he eventually writes it neatly, he's actually proud of his work. That's what kills me... if he does good work you can SEE that it makes him feel good. So why doesn't he do that every time???? I just don't get it.
Last night was particularly awful. He of course didn't bring his planner home, we had the usual battle (see above), and he insisted that his work was all done. I eventually gave up. Because at some point I have to let him fail so he can bottom out and get his act together.
This morning I checked his class website, Class Dojo. The teacher give (or take away) points based on how the day is going. The whole class could get points for good transition, or getting a compliment from another teacher, or doing good work, or a student can be recognized individually for good work, turning in homework, insightful questions, etc. It is a kind of instant feedback system. But the teacher can also take away Dojo points. Maybe the whole class was too noisy, or an individual wasn't paying attention and was disturbing the class. This morning, at 9:12 AM Colin got the double hit:
Now keep in mind, school starts at 9AM, so in less than fifteen minutes Colin managed to get dinged twice for his preparation and homework. After he SWORE to me that all his homework was done, and he didn't need his stupid planner and he knows what he needs to get done.
Yes, my head exploded. It took a while, a couple rolls of duct tape, and a large tub of Modge Podge, but I got it back together. So now Colin's going to be grounded for a while, which means no outside play, and no TV or electronics. And I'm going to start asking him before we leave the school if he has his planner. If he doesn't I'll be walking him to the office, and sending him back to his classroom so he can write it all down. And we'll do this EVERY DAY until he figures out that I mean it.
Because he may be one stubborn kid, but Seargent Mom is not going to lose this battle.
This is yet another penance I'm doing for having laughed at my friends (nearly 2 decades ago!) when their kids had homework that they didn't want to do. Or that the kids thought was stupid. Or they just didn't get.
That's right. I'm embroiled in an absolute no-win war. The Homework War. This involves a kid (or kids) who fall into one or more of the following categories:
- Didn't write down homework assignment
- Forgot their workbook, planner, paper, assignment, etc.
- Doesn't understand the question
- Doesn't care about doing good work
- Intentionally uses sloppy handwriting
- Rushes through a problem then gets mad when they get the answer wrong
- Doesn't read instructions for a question
- Has to write sentences using specific vocabulary words
But oh... my darling first son. Whose teacher writes the homework on the board every single day, and told the students at the beginning of the year that they need to write down their homework every day, and the parents need to initial it every night. Easy peasy, right? WRONG.
First, he refuses to write down his work in the planner. No consequence I've come up with has been able to correct this. Then he's mad as a hornet that we go to the library every day after school, but I HAVE to do this. If I bring the boys home they can't focus and the homework just doesn't get done. Because there's a toy/friend/dog/snack/speck-of-dust that gets their attention and then the wheels fall off the cart. So every freaking day we stop at the library, which should really only take about 15-20 minutes. They could sit down, do their homework, and we'd be on our way.
But NOOOOOOOO... instead it goes like this.
*pick up boys from school, I greet them with a smile and we walk to the car*
Colin: Are we going to the stupid library again? I'm NOT GOING. You can't make me.
Me: Actually I can.
Colin: Well, I won't do my work.
Me: ignores him, refusing to take the bait
We arrive at the library, walk in and sit down at a table.
Ryan usually just starts doing his homework. Or goes to the bathroom. Or sometimes complains he's too tired and puts his head down. He's a wildcard. Most days he just gets the work done, but at least once a week he's a hellish mess too. I don't know what to wriiiiiiite. I don't like that sentence Mommy. I don't wanna write that.
Colin typically pulls out a piece of paper and starts doing origami. Which I'd think is super-cool but HE NEEDS TO DO HIS HOMEWORK FIRST. This turns into me stupidly trying to snatch the paper from him. He gets mad. I keep taking his papers away. Then I ask... Can I see your planner?
Colin: (glowering) No.
Me: Why not?
Colin: I. Don't. Have. It.
Me: Why? We talked about this. You need to write down your assignments and bring your planner home every day.
Colin: Well I didn't. Its stupid. I know what I need to do. I don't need to write it down.
Me: But how do I know that you're doing all your work? How can I help check your work?
Colin: YOU DON'T NEED TO. I CAN DO MY OWN WORK! LEAVE ME ALONE!
This continues and repeats until he eventually starts doing his work. He will inevitably run into a question he doesn't understand. I'll help him, and when he's "done" I check his work. And make him correct any wrong answers (I tell him which problem is wrong, he has to figure out what's wrong). And because I'm apparently the meanest most unreasonable mother that ever lived, I also make him re-write his work and answers when it is sloppy. Now I'm not just talking bad penmanship. I mean he has rushed so much that his writing is worse than it was when he was in preschool. Where you can't tell if he wrote a 6, a zero, or the letter "o". And the letters r, n, u and v all look exactly the same.
The sad part is once he eventually writes it neatly, he's actually proud of his work. That's what kills me... if he does good work you can SEE that it makes him feel good. So why doesn't he do that every time???? I just don't get it.
Last night was particularly awful. He of course didn't bring his planner home, we had the usual battle (see above), and he insisted that his work was all done. I eventually gave up. Because at some point I have to let him fail so he can bottom out and get his act together.
This morning I checked his class website, Class Dojo. The teacher give (or take away) points based on how the day is going. The whole class could get points for good transition, or getting a compliment from another teacher, or doing good work, or a student can be recognized individually for good work, turning in homework, insightful questions, etc. It is a kind of instant feedback system. But the teacher can also take away Dojo points. Maybe the whole class was too noisy, or an individual wasn't paying attention and was disturbing the class. This morning, at 9:12 AM Colin got the double hit:
 |
| Dojo Points |
Yes, my head exploded. It took a while, a couple rolls of duct tape, and a large tub of Modge Podge, but I got it back together. So now Colin's going to be grounded for a while, which means no outside play, and no TV or electronics. And I'm going to start asking him before we leave the school if he has his planner. If he doesn't I'll be walking him to the office, and sending him back to his classroom so he can write it all down. And we'll do this EVERY DAY until he figures out that I mean it.
Because he may be one stubborn kid, but Seargent Mom is not going to lose this battle.
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