Rant Follow Up
Less than 24 hours after my last post I was informed that a juvenile Sharma had yet again done something stupid and was on "RED" at school.
I promptly saw red. But in a brief moment of sanity decided that instead of FREAKING OUT on him, as he so richly deserved, I headed up to the gym to work out. I dropped the boys off at the play room, did a solid Combat class and punched the ever-lovin' heck out of the air in front of me, and then managed to muddle along some more.
I really don't understand. I have good kids - seriously. They love animals and people. They don't get to watch the shows that most of their peers do (Ninja Turtles, Ben 10, Transformers, Power Rangers, etc.) that might lead them to make bad decisions. They eat a pretty clean diet - not perfect, but they don't get fast food, never have soda, and have fresh fruit and veggies every day. My husband and I have a good relationship and are happy together. We have arranged our schedules around trying to be there for the kids. We read to them, spend time with them, play games with them. I make sure they get plenty of exercise - swimming, walks, tennis, indoor Nerf basketball, general running around, playground time. I've even enrolled then in Choir and Family Zumba.
So what the heck am I doing wrong???? I know I'm not perfect, but there are parents out there who I darned well know are less involved and kids who are exposed to all sorts of video crap and get jacked up daily on sugar and processed foods. Why is my kid making such spectacularly bad decisions, day after day after day? And why did this start now? A year ago he was in full-day classes, with a large group of children, and behavior wasn't an issue. He wasn't red day after day after day. I wasn't getting notices from the teacher about acts of blinding stupidity.
I know the standards change each year, and expectations will only get tougher. But seriously... school curriculum last year was way harder than what they are doing now. And somehow he just can't focus. I don't know if he is acting out because he's bored, or from lack of supervision/direction, or if he's just gone off the deep end. What I do know is that clearly the other kids have picked up on the fact that a certain someone gets in trouble, and from what I'm hearing they are very quick to tattle on him, even if he isn't the only one doing something. I've asked about the other kids who were also in on the act of stupidity, and it seems that they don't get moved from green to yellow (or yellow to red), only my dope gets singled out for that. I'm not calling the teacher out on this - they catch who they catch. What I keep trying to explain to my child that it doesn't matter who started it, or how many kids are doing something dumb, YOU are always the one who will get the blame. So DON'T DO STUPID THINGS! I'm starting to think that I could chant that mantra 24/7 until the day I die and it still wouldn't take effect.
Thank goodness I have Hari, who backs me up and helps keep me sane. Who encourages me to take my frustrations out at the gym instead of getting mad at a little kid who clearly doesn't get it. Who has insightful dad-chats that hopefully will eventually sink in.
In the meantime we just keep plugging along. Having conversation after conversation with a little boy who just doesn't stop and think before he does things. Who tries in all the wrong ways to help enforce the teacher's instructions, gets distracted from his classwork and starts playing with other kids instead, and doesn't understand the concept of personal space. He's losing all privileges, we haven't done any sort of weekend outing in over a month, and he's missed a couple of class birthday parties.
I've decided that the next phase is for both boys to start doing more chores around the house. So... Welcome to Chore Camp! They will get a welcome letter this evening, and then they will pick three Chore-Sticks each day. Some colors are shared, some are only for Colin, some are only for Ryan. Each stick has a chore written on it, and when they complete the chore they'll get a sticker on a chart. There are also a few surprise "PRIZE" chore sticks, where they might get a lollipop or hug instead of a chore. Let's see how this goes. If they aren't behaving better at least my house will be cleaner!
I promptly saw red. But in a brief moment of sanity decided that instead of FREAKING OUT on him, as he so richly deserved, I headed up to the gym to work out. I dropped the boys off at the play room, did a solid Combat class and punched the ever-lovin' heck out of the air in front of me, and then managed to muddle along some more.
I really don't understand. I have good kids - seriously. They love animals and people. They don't get to watch the shows that most of their peers do (Ninja Turtles, Ben 10, Transformers, Power Rangers, etc.) that might lead them to make bad decisions. They eat a pretty clean diet - not perfect, but they don't get fast food, never have soda, and have fresh fruit and veggies every day. My husband and I have a good relationship and are happy together. We have arranged our schedules around trying to be there for the kids. We read to them, spend time with them, play games with them. I make sure they get plenty of exercise - swimming, walks, tennis, indoor Nerf basketball, general running around, playground time. I've even enrolled then in Choir and Family Zumba.
So what the heck am I doing wrong???? I know I'm not perfect, but there are parents out there who I darned well know are less involved and kids who are exposed to all sorts of video crap and get jacked up daily on sugar and processed foods. Why is my kid making such spectacularly bad decisions, day after day after day? And why did this start now? A year ago he was in full-day classes, with a large group of children, and behavior wasn't an issue. He wasn't red day after day after day. I wasn't getting notices from the teacher about acts of blinding stupidity.
I know the standards change each year, and expectations will only get tougher. But seriously... school curriculum last year was way harder than what they are doing now. And somehow he just can't focus. I don't know if he is acting out because he's bored, or from lack of supervision/direction, or if he's just gone off the deep end. What I do know is that clearly the other kids have picked up on the fact that a certain someone gets in trouble, and from what I'm hearing they are very quick to tattle on him, even if he isn't the only one doing something. I've asked about the other kids who were also in on the act of stupidity, and it seems that they don't get moved from green to yellow (or yellow to red), only my dope gets singled out for that. I'm not calling the teacher out on this - they catch who they catch. What I keep trying to explain to my child that it doesn't matter who started it, or how many kids are doing something dumb, YOU are always the one who will get the blame. So DON'T DO STUPID THINGS! I'm starting to think that I could chant that mantra 24/7 until the day I die and it still wouldn't take effect.
Thank goodness I have Hari, who backs me up and helps keep me sane. Who encourages me to take my frustrations out at the gym instead of getting mad at a little kid who clearly doesn't get it. Who has insightful dad-chats that hopefully will eventually sink in.
In the meantime we just keep plugging along. Having conversation after conversation with a little boy who just doesn't stop and think before he does things. Who tries in all the wrong ways to help enforce the teacher's instructions, gets distracted from his classwork and starts playing with other kids instead, and doesn't understand the concept of personal space. He's losing all privileges, we haven't done any sort of weekend outing in over a month, and he's missed a couple of class birthday parties.
I've decided that the next phase is for both boys to start doing more chores around the house. So... Welcome to Chore Camp! They will get a welcome letter this evening, and then they will pick three Chore-Sticks each day. Some colors are shared, some are only for Colin, some are only for Ryan. Each stick has a chore written on it, and when they complete the chore they'll get a sticker on a chart. There are also a few surprise "PRIZE" chore sticks, where they might get a lollipop or hug instead of a chore. Let's see how this goes. If they aren't behaving better at least my house will be cleaner!
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